Being a perfectionist that’s never good enough

Jambo auxiliaries!

A few days ago, I was asked to compile a report/minutes of the meeting we had on that day. I wasn’t sure how I was going to do it and all I had were guidelines. It had to be straight to the point and easy to read. Yesterday, I sat down and got to it, taking two and a half hours and feeling disappointed in myself for taking such a long time. I also felt it was just average and I wasn’t sure about sending it as it was, but as I continued skimming it over and over, I had no fresh ideas on what to add. I sent the report anyway and waited for the mistakes to be highlighted or the format to be corrected. However, the one response I got was positive as he even sent me this verse.

Proverbs 22:29 Do you see a man skilled in his work? He will stand before kings; He will not stand before obscure men.

I really should have captured the smile on my face when I looked up the verse. After reading it and feeling proud of myself, I realized I am my own biggest critic. This is just one of many examples where I have second guessed myself over and over searching for a perfection that is impossible on my own. I am highly judgmental about every little thing I do and sometimes my fear of failure and disappointing myself keeps me from pro-activity. I have a notion that if I can’t do a task perfectly, then I might as well not even try. I think this is a good mantra to live by but I feel I may have been using it as an excuse to stay in my comfort zone and avoid the risk of failure.

I now realize that God has called me to work for Him and while I continue thinking I am not good enough to serve Him, He still loves me and will bless the work of my hands. He judges not the work but the attitude of my spirit as His grace is sufficient for me. There are many sermons taught about not judging others, yet very few capture self-judgment. As I was writing this, this verse and the song below came to mind. May God help you see that you are good enough for Him to love you as you are.

2 Corinthians 9:8 And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that always having all sufficiency in everything, you may have an abundance for every good deed;

I’m not perfect
Yes I do wrong
I’m tryin my best but
It ain’t good enough
Shunned be the world
If I don’t succeed
Cuz I ain’t good enough
But he still loves me

Advertisements

Why you should put your faith in action

Jambo auxiliaries!

It has definitely been a while thanks to sickness, camps and a whole bunch of other reasons. I needed to break the the silence just to share the passage of scripture that has been stalking me for the past few weeks, also known as, Hebrews 11. I have been struggling with doubt with regard to my application, so much so that I kept delaying the process. However, this scripture has been mentioned during almost every service/devotion I have attended. I hope it can give you the courage you need to take a bold leap of faith in your life.314314_10150472453852625_1523869225_n

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for.

By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God’s command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible.

By faith Abel brought God a better offering than Cain did. By faith he was commended as righteous, when God spoke well of his offerings. And by faith Abel still speaks, even though he is dead.

By faith Enoch was taken from this life, so that he did not experience death: “He could not be found, because God had taken him away.”[a] For before he was taken, he was commended as one who pleased God. And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.

By faith Noah, when warned about things not yet seen, in holy fear built an ark to save his family. By his faith he condemned the world and became heir of the righteousness that is in keeping with faith.

By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going. By faith he made his home in the promised land like a stranger in a foreign country; he lived in tents, as did Isaac and Jacob, who were heirs with him of the same promise.10 For he was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God. 11 And by faith even Sarah, who was past childbearing age, was enabled to bear children because she[b] considered him faithful who had made the promise. 12 And so from this one man, and he as good as dead, came descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as countless as the sand on the seashore.

13 All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance, admitting that they were foreigners and strangers on earth. 14 People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. 15 If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. 16 Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.

17 By faith Abraham, when God tested him, offered Isaac as a sacrifice. He who had embraced the promises was about to sacrifice his one and only son, 18 even though God had said to him, “It is through Isaac that your offspring will be reckoned.”[c] 19 Abraham reasoned that God could even raise the dead, and so in a manner of speaking he did receive Isaac back from death.

20 By faith Isaac blessed Jacob and Esau in regard to their future.

21 By faith Jacob, when he was dying, blessed each of Joseph’s sons, and worshiped as he leaned on the top of his staff.

22 By faith Joseph, when his end was near, spoke about the exodus of the Israelites from Egypt and gave instructions concerning the burial of his bones.

23 By faith Moses’ parents hid him for three months after he was born, because they saw he was no ordinary child, and they were not afraid of the king’s edict.

24 By faith Moses, when he had grown up, refused to be known as the son of Pharaoh’s daughter. 25 He chose to be mistreated along with the people of God rather than to enjoy the fleeting pleasures of sin. 26 He regarded disgrace for the sake of Christ as of greater value than the treasures of Egypt, because he was looking ahead to his reward.27 By faith he left Egypt, not fearing the king’s anger; he persevered because he saw him who is invisible. 28 By faith he kept the Passover and the application of blood, so that the destroyer of the firstborn would not touch the firstborn of Israel.

29 By faith the people passed through the Red Sea as on dry land; but when the Egyptians tried to do so, they were drowned.

30 By faith the walls of Jericho fell, after the army had marched around them for seven days.

31 By faith the prostitute Rahab, because she welcomed the spies, was not killed with those who were disobedient.[d]

32 And what more shall I say? I do not have time to tell about Gideon, Barak, Samsonand Jephthah, about David and Samuel and the prophets, 33 who through faith conquered kingdoms, administered justice, and gained what was promised; who shut the mouths of lions, 34 quenched the fury of the flames, and escaped the edge of the sword; whose weakness was turned to strength; and who became powerful in battle and routed foreign armies. 35 Women received back their dead, raised to life again.There were others who were tortured, refusing to be released so that they might gain an even better resurrection. 36 Some faced jeers and flogging, and even chains and imprisonment. 37 They were put to death by stoning;[e] they were sawed in two; they were killed by the sword. They went about in sheepskins and goatskins, destitute, persecuted and mistreated— 38 the world was not worthy of them. They wandered in deserts and mountains, living in caves and in holes in the ground.

39 These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised, 40 since God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect.

I started my application yesterday and I challenge you to meditate on this passage and let your faith take action in this new month.