Why you should cling to hope of a better tomorrow

Jambo auxiliaries!

Oops! I did it again. I called you auxiliaries, accidentally on purpose :-). Jokes aside, it’s Sunday which is my best day of the week, for obvious reasons. And for less obvious reasons, it’s the conclusion of one of my personal experiments.

So for the past week, I’ve tried to live without God. I decided to treat it like a breakup from a relationship just to see how I would be feeling at the end of the week. To be honest, I feel terrible. I had fun but underneath the fun there was pain. I enjoyed a lot of movies and series but they just left me thinking waay too much about how my life is off track. And the music…. just left me completely depressed and hating my life.

At no point this week did I touch my bible nor did I pray. It’s one thing to be preached to about this but it’s another to do it practically. It’s one thing to tell teens what to watch, read and listen to but if you can’t explain it practically, exactly how it actually affects them, then all you are saying is gibberish. (totally jazzed gibberish is an actual word) And because I am a scientist, practicals prove everything!!

  • One tree hill made me start feeling sad about my life like I could totally relate to the characters’ sad lives. In reality, I have an awesome family that loves me and is comparatively drama free.
  • Old school RnB like Boyz II Men, Usher and Mariah had me feeling sad that I am single, as though I am incomplete without someone to love. Drake had me missing an ex from 5 years ago. In reality, it feels great to be able to focus on myself instead of just jumping from one dysfunctional relationship to another.(I know that sounds shady but it’s just true so can’t help it)
  • Powerpuff girls made me feel like an underachiever, like how are these girls in kindergarten and saving the world and asleep by bedtime? Yes I know it’s a cartoon, but it made me think I am 22 and do not do any of those things.


These are just some examples of the things I chose to replace the time I would have spent with God. By last night, I was soo cranky, moody and hopeless. I realized that all these things were draining all the hope I had stocked up. We lie to ourselves that we are feeling inspired while in reality, the inspiration fades away and creates a vacuum for hopelessness to take over. When we meditate on God’s word and talk to Him and keep the relationship alive, we feel like the world is our footstool. That God is bigger than anything in this world. We get to focus on being a part of His majestic Kingdom and the spoils that come with.

This was just something that I had to learn practically. I feel like my heart has a hole that’s leaking hope and only God is putting more in. This week, I didn’t let Him and I almost ran dry. I can’t begin to describe the depression that kicked in, the temptations that plagued me or the desperation for a boyfriend. Last year, I did away with secular music on my playlist. This year, I want to do away with secular series like Scandal, Game of Thrones and Grey’s anatomy. It’s super hard but I know that it’s possible. I challenge you to let Him put more hope in your life.

“Hope smiles from the threshold of the year to come, whispering ‘it will be happier’…” ― Alfred Tennyson


Mimina Yesu

I totally recommend you listen to this song as you read this post.

Jambo auxiliaries!

So I had an epiphany on what to call my followers and realized auxiliaries is just perfect, because my name is Auxilia and you guys follow this. I know right! Totally awesome!!

So I’m writing this post while listening to Mimina and clearly you can tell the difference. That song just gets me in a dancing mood and its just perfect and its what kicked in my 2015.

And you’ve probably been wondering where I’ve been wandering (cliche, I know) so I’m prepared with my list of disclaimers of the many things that were going on in my life.

  1. Went for a girls’ camp in Rongai, so I was away from civilization.
  2. Celebrated my 22nd birthday, now you all know how old I am so judge all you will :p
  3. Went for teens’ camp in Naivasha and it was sooo awesome and totally worth it.
  4. Went for college camp in Malindi over new years. Loved the people and the music because it’s where I heard this amazing song Mimina.
  5. Went for bridge camp in Embu and it was quite insightful.
  6. Took a week off my life to get some sleep and visit a couple of awesome people that I hadn’t seen in forever and also to catch up with my auxiliaries (yes, you guys) as I am doing now.

So, as you can see, I have 6 perfectly good reasons for being MIA and hopefully I am going to learn to balance my time better in the coming months. I’ve definitely missed sharing myself with you because when I don’t there’s just too much me inside my head.

Pictures and videos coming soon as well as a series of posts just for you.

Happy new year my lovelies, until next time :-).